Thursday, January 19, 2006

Pierce the Film

January 19, 2006

Amy's Kitchen, Inc.
PO Box 449
Petaluma CA 94953

Dear Sir(s) and/or Madam(s).

Like you, I enjoy my food fast, convenient, and microwave-preparable. It is for this and many other reasons that I frequently eat frozen “entréès.”

And while I believe the advances made in food eating convenience have been commendable, there is more work still to be done. (I know you’ll agree that this is an exciting time for all of us, microwave food consumer or not.)

I hope you won’t take offense at my critiquicisms (a word I coined several years ago), but your product could use advancement! Your packaging instructs me to “pierce the film 3 or 4 times with a fork,” or something. (I can’t remember the wording exactly—I usually remove the tray and throw the box away while I’m driving home from the store.)

But—and here is where my typing gets a little furious—what if I don’t have a fork?! You should include some kind of piercing instrument in the packaging. (It would be good to masking tape it to the tray, so I don’t accidentally throw it away when I toss the package out of the car window.)

Also, you should put some kind of counter in the piercing instrument, so that the consumer can keep track of how many times the film has been pierced. I wouldn’t want to underpoke or (god!) overpoke the film!

I look forward to hearing from you. If you would like to kick “around” any more ideas along these lines, I am available. But I don’t have a phone anymore.

Thank you for “making time for Terry,”

William “Terry” Fietz