Sierra Mist

April 16, 2007

Pepsi
Customer Relations
700 Anderson Hill Road
Purchase, NY 10577

Dear Sir(s) and/or Madam(s).

I enjoy things just like other people do. (Except for the people who enjoy pistachios, if that’s how you spell them.) However, my decided enjoyment of one of your products was not in evidence when… Pardon me. I should have started that sentence differently, I now realize.

What had happened was that I had have opened a can of one of your products and the next thing I knew was that my shirtfront was covered in some wet something (which I later figured out was your product). Sierra Mist? I almost started to think that your product should have been called Sierra Raining (or even Explosive!)!

Imagine the look on my face! (If I had a beard I’d look a little like the coach from Coach if he had a beard like Trapper John from Trapper John.) Shock, confusion, being wet. These were the emotions on my face after this incidence.

It occurred to me that the carbonation of the “soda” (or “juice” if you’re from Vermont) is what led to this occurrence. And that maybe—maybe—the can had been shaken prior to when I opened it. And if so—please follow me here—something could be done so that this would never happen again. I believe I have achieved what that something is/could be.

1. Make the cans much bigger, so they are harder to shake or jostle. If they were, say, the size of the big glass ball on top of old-fashioned gumball machines, that should do it.

2. Make the can much harder to open. Like, the part you press down with the thing could be less perforated (?) so you would have to really push it down hard. This would give the shaken-up contents time to stop.

3. Remove the carbonation. I think this one is self-explainatory.

I also have ideas 4 through 5 "ready to go" when you want them. Please let me know.

Thank you for “making time for Terry,”

William “Terry” Fietz