Soap

January 26, 2006

Procter & Gamble
1 Procter & Gamble Plaza
Cincinnati, OH 45202

Dear Sir(s) and/or Madam(s).

When you wash your hands as often as I do—two and sometimes even three times a day!—you learn a lot about soap. The textures, the aromas, the flavors, and, yes, even what it looks like.

It was during a strenuous hand-washing session on Saturday (orange glaze, I think) that I looked down at the bar of soap in my hands, and it hit me. (Not literally hit.) I realized something interesting about soap. It isn't important what bar I was using. (It was Safeguard.)

First, a little background: When lathering my hands with “bar” soap, I use the following technique: I hold the bar in my right hand and, palm down, rub the bar against my upturned left palm circularly in a clockwise direction. (I tried counter-clockwise once, but I ended up with a chipped tooth. True story. But too long for this letter.) I probably make about 10 or 11 circles. By that time, I have usually created a healthy amount of the ol’ suds. Then I place the “bar” back in the day’s (or holiday season’s) soap dish and go on from there.

What I noticed was that, through use, the “bar” begins to take on a shape just right for my hands and particular technique. I am, as it were, changing the shape of it. And here is where it gets good! What if you were to design and manufacture left-handed soap?! It’s one of those ideas—like seat belts—that are so obvious you can’t believe some idiot hasn’t already made a fortune off it.

Left-handed soap could offer the left-handeds of the world their opportunity to keep their hands clean in comfort. I don’t know any left-handed people, but I do not discriminate. If you would like to discuss this further, I am always available, except for Mondays through Wednesdays, 11:15—1:15ish, and Thursdays, from 3:30 on.

Thank you for "making time for Terry,"

William "Terry" Fietz

Pierce the Film

January 19, 2006

Amy's Kitchen, Inc.
PO Box 449
Petaluma CA 94953

Dear Sir(s) and/or Madam(s).

Like you, I enjoy my food fast, convenient, and microwave-preparable. It is for this and many other reasons that I frequently eat frozen “entréès.”

And while I believe the advances made in food eating convenience have been commendable, there is more work still to be done. (I know you’ll agree that this is an exciting time for all of us, microwave food consumer or not.)

I hope you won’t take offense at my critiquicisms (a word I coined several years ago), but your product could use advancement! Your packaging instructs me to “pierce the film 3 or 4 times with a fork,” or something. (I can’t remember the wording exactly—I usually remove the tray and throw the box away while I’m driving home from the store.)

But—and here is where my typing gets a little furious—what if I don’t have a fork?! You should include some kind of piercing instrument in the packaging. (It would be good to masking tape it to the tray, so I don’t accidentally throw it away when I toss the package out of the car window.)

Also, you should put some kind of counter in the piercing instrument, so that the consumer can keep track of how many times the film has been pierced. I wouldn’t want to underpoke or (god!) overpoke the film!

I look forward to hearing from you. If you would like to kick “around” any more ideas along these lines, I am available. But I don’t have a phone anymore.

Thank you for “making time for Terry,”

William “Terry” Fietz